And again, I am circling back to the same old place;
and I shouldn’t, and I shouldn’t, and I shouldn’t.
No matter what, no matter right or wrong —
I can’t love you, knowing the hurt,
knowing the history, and the world;
you have been mean — and mean to me, most of all.
Knowing how much I care about you,
how much I love you — knowing I am not even one percent to you.
Today, I was dancing out of happiness,
but with the sadness that I am, again, back to
what I hated most about myself:
loving you, one-sided —
knowing I don’t even matter to you.
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