Abhey Gupta

Tag: longing

longing

  • Another World

    Glaring, those black eyes at mine —
    I wonder, who is the angel?
    I moved back to the yard, and caught a glance of her:
    she is my love, and you…

    Holding back my heartbeat every time,
    I steady myself, and whisper in her ear,
    “Will you be my forever, in every life?”
    And she smiles back, and says yes to me…

    She pressed her lips to mine,
    and I wandered, in a wonderland;
    though she knows this is only for a while,
    she is the one I know — with love…

    I move back to my present, with hope,
    and all I see is one faint message of hers:
    “I know you, but you are not mine.”
    I know she is mine — but in another world.

  • Thou

    Here you are, in my heart —
    but not in my life…
    Surely you live in my dreams,
    but not in my life.
    You give me love,
    but not the one I desire.
    You know what is mine,
    but not the one I know.
    You owe me nothing —
    but I owe you my life…

  • Day and Night

    The moment of my dream, I seek today…
    the one I remember with your love…
    the one that lasts in your remembrance.
    I feel your touch in every pain I cry at night…
    I look for you in my shadow, in the dark…
    and I know you are with me, still.

    Though safe in my heart, you are not in my mind;
    though forever in my thoughts, you are not before my eyes…
    I wish there were a destination for this sorrow I adore each day,
    in this parted life of yours and mine…
    Just your memory stays with me, day and night.

  • The Last Time

    I held my breath,
    and moved nervously toward her;
    I held her hand,
    and whispered my love.
    Far from all the situations,
    I offered her everything…

    I held her in my arms,
    and pressed her lips to mine;
    I moved closer to her,
    and promised a great time ahead…
    Although I stood there long,
    I am still standing there.

    So many nights passed by,
    and I wondered every day;
    but she never looked back,
    and I told myself, “the time wasn’t right”…
    Yet I closed my eyes,
    and dreamed of her again.

    It hurts, knowing the reality is far away,
    and I don’t like it anymore;
    but I glanced back through that time,
    and asked her to be mine again.
    She didn’t understand — just like the last time —
    and I offered her one final goodbye.

  • The First Day

    Glancing out the window one night, I see
    hundreds of wanderers — of mine, and of yours;
    all are a part of this night, and apart from the daylight.
    When all are forks of my one, or many, desires —
    what shall I understand from the faces of time?

  • Miracle of Storm

    It was long ago, in the bazaar of love,
    when ships were sailing in the hue of sand,
    and we travelled miles together —
    but spent the rest of the journey in hate.

    I hide myself in the sand of time,
    passing through and through that mile;
    she comes and goes with a hope —
    one day, or one life, I’ll have her.

    Like a desert with no reason for death,
    I never could stand a reason to love again;
    but with the grace of words, and of silence,
    I speak my hate again — with a love for her.

    She is a miracle of storm,
    flowing away with every gust of the tale;
    some are stories, some are fable —
    but I just settle with the dream of her.

    And with the loss, I conquer the fear of losing her.

  • Divide of Time

    A sea of hope, or the death of desire,
    and the curling thread of thoughts
    conspire — the smaller, the shadow of light;
    yet harder it is to get by, in this time of thine.

    But I cross the bridge with the company of her smile,
    and in all that is left — the happiness of her, and mine.

  • The Bird’s Tail

    Swiftly, she is flying through these dreams of mine;
    and every time I look — just look — into her eyes, I find my own.
    I hide myself from her world,
    but how could I ever do that, with this heart of mine?

  • Mystery of Her

    Oh thou, the love — tell her this:
    I have always loved her, and I always will.

    Oh thou, the queen of heart — show her mine;
    how helpless I was when I missed her, and I always will.

    Oh thou, the lover’s dream — let her dream;
    I always wanted her happy, and I always will.

    Oh thou, the night’s shine — let her shine;
    she always smiled into my life, and always will.

    Oh thou, the cloud’s traveller — let her wander
    through my thoughts, and see how much I love her, and I always will.

    Oh thou, the moon — go, and perceive her;
    how lonely I am without her, and I always will…

    Just like you.

  • 25th May 2012

    1:10 a.m., 25th May 2012.

    I am still struggling with my mind and its thoughts, wondering what happened last night. Is my wildest fear — that she now knows of my madness for her — finally coming true? Or has it already happened, and in my ignorance I simply couldn’t see it?

    The solution isn’t complicated; it could even be the simplest thing — just letting her know. But the mismatch of mind and heart, of fire and water, of past and present, keeps competing inside me — and, I think, inside her too. What can I do at this particular moment?

    So, as before — but with new evidence, and new feelings — I write, again and again, to map out my thoughts: my cloud of worry, my pursuit of happiness, poured into my poems and my blog. And I hope that one day she’ll read it.

    Near midnight, she says goodnight to me, and I wonder if it is the morning of her dreams. She holds my breath with her voice, and unsettles me with the familiar mischief of her charm — and I wonder if this is just the beginning of her love.

    She blinds me with her eyes, and I am lost in the endless depth of it; I wonder if it is only a part of her world.

    But sooner or later, I wake from the dream. I find the reality exactly the same — except that, this time, she is not by my side.