Abhey Gupta

Tag: Despair

  • दौड़

    यह दौड़ है कैसी,
    जिसमें रोज़ है हार-जीत;
    रोज़ कोई डरता है इस दौड़ से,
    और फिर अपने ही कल में खो जाता है।

    बेबसी से चलता आज का कल,
    और पल-पल खोता अपना जीवन;
    समझ से सब दूर जैसे —
    लेकिन अक्सर, यह सोच, दिल रोता है…

  • Trail of Shadow

    As I move far from my shadow,
    it only seems to close on me more each time;
    the moment of standing comes with the grave of a lamb,
    and life ends with the sorrow of all left undone.

    Gestures only lead somewhere deeply lost,
    but the quest is to lose yourself;
    though it gives way to a better tomorrow,
    the question is — what is worse than satisfaction?

    The more you try to answer, every time,
    you weave another knot of paranoia.
    I know it would never end like this;
    but what I want to know is — if this is not the end,
    then what is it, and where?

  • He Breaks Me

    So blindly we move to act,
    and so did I —
    chasing a fleeting comfort,
    slipping, somehow, into the dark.

    It preys upon my ruin,
    leaving wounds that never close;
    I scream, I cry, I beg for help,
    but it tears me down, again and again.

    I run from him, undone,
    a crowd gathers to watch — never to help —
    and he breaks me, again and again.

    And it is never only once:
    I live it every single day —
    that face, watching me, merciless,
    while I, helpless as ever, go numb and weep.

    Facing him, again and again,
    he laughs at every tear;
    the more I break, the more he revels,
    as he draws the very life out of me.

    He plays it out; I go numb just hearing it.
    He fills my veins with his poison,
    and now I lean on him to save me —
    the one who ruins me… will he ever help?

    So strange this world is,
    so artificial, all of them;
    some have hidden from their own sanity —
    cowards, every one.
    And I…

  • Let Me Die

    Lord, my Lord — let me sleep forever.
    Restless is my soul; let it rest forever.
    This shallow heart is more complex than ever —
    let me die, in spirit, tonight.

    I died a long time ago, in every way but body;
    now, today, let me sleep endlessly.
    Say my prayers, and remember everyone;
    let my wandering soul rest in your garden.

    A martyr I am not,
    a flower of love I do not have —
    only a boulevard of longing dreams
    that shattered my mind with a knife of panic.

    Let me rest today, completely.