Abhey Gupta

Author: Abhey Gupta

  • Forgive Me

    I was wrong, and somewhere, so were you…
    Things were never as bad as they seemed.
    A few uttered words of my soul,
    and a few of hers, dissolved it all—
    the unnamed thing we had between us.

    Hope is all I can do, and all I have now.
    Things will be the same again someday;
    I’ll hold the same dreams in my eyes
    and taste those tears of joy once more.
    I’ll hear those words one day—
    but silence is all I assume for now.

    I’ve heard it often: time heals all wounds.
    But feeling—can it ever be surpassed?
    This is the one thing I know, after all of this:
    some things will never bend to your will.

    So I let go of all my complaining—
    forgive me, because I was wrong.

  • If I Am

    If I were a free-flying bird,
    touching the heights of the sky,
    free-falling, then rising again,
    flying higher and higher—

    if I were a snake,
    moving here and there,
    watching for my prey,
    hissing out my bravery—

    if I were a mammal,
    walking and running for food,
    fighting for my own space—
    happiness would still be there.

    But if I am a human being,
    all I do is fool the others;
    greed is the only thing I tend,
    killing another for my pride.

    If I am a human being,
    then I am no longer me—
    I have lost my soul in a world of money,
    and I blame others for my fate.

    So I am no more a human being.

  • The Hypocrites

    Everyone wears a face,
    asking one another, “Tell me about you”—
    knowing so little of anything,
    yet boasting about everything.

    My nerves are so messed up;
    I feel completely drained.
    Thinking it over, again and again—
    what do I do? What do I really do?

    Should I become like them,
    or make a rule of my own?
    Should I try to change them,
    or bend beneath my own knees?

    Yes—that is the question:
    what face should I wear today?
    That I’m the happiest of all,
    that I never get hurt,
    that I’m not alone in this world?

    I’m still confused, as if by nothing,
    spending all day and night
    thinking it through to a summary—
    wearing faces upon faces,
    living each day behind a new one,
    calling them my self, and me.

  • World He Left Behind

    As a child, he was free—
    free to speak, to laugh, to do as he pleased.
    As a child, he had a way
    of hiding, of losing himself in a dream.

    Pain, sorrow, and hurt
    were nowhere along his path.
    Tears still came, and often—
    but not from helplessness, as they do now.

    Anger was never a friend of his;
    now he cannot live without it.
    He was once immune to jealousy;
    now he is a patient of it.

    Logical or illogical,
    he never used to care—
    now, time and again, he must ask:
    am I even right enough to cope?

    Isn’t he lost in this vast world,
    where only the hunger for money is left to feel?
    He owns everything he has—
    but for that, he sold his soul.

    His eyes speak every word
    he cannot say: he longs to fly free.
    No one sees how alone he is,
    fallen so low, as if he were the only one.

    But fiercely he vows
    he will not break, will not cry anymore;
    he will face it all alone.
    And drawing a single breath, he left—

    with one ray of light
    to find the world he had lost,
    and build a world of his own,
    living inside a dream
    to find the world he left behind.

  • Even With You Here

    Even with you here at night,
    I’m lost in the depths of darkness.

    No light to be seen—only the curse of pain,
    as sorrow weaves its web of solitude.

    Ecstasy rides the fresh-rain breeze,
    yet far away a tunnel of nostalgia beckons.
    My soul is snared by the monster of loneliness.

    The sun rises, banishing the night,
    yet my soul stays shrouded in confusion.

    I wish to wander through the night,
    where no one would ever know
    that I cry for you in silence.

  • Sand of Past Memories

    Sand of past memories,
    flowing through the desert of emotion,
    the faces of truth and lies—
    silence speaks of everything;

    the meaning of love is nothing to understand…
    What does it matter if someone is nothing?
    A question of life, still to be answered…

    Still waiting—you left; they left.
    Everything fell apart inside my mind.

    Still, I wear a false smile on my face,
    with a thousand other faces of life,
    to answer my own soul—
    still waiting for answers…

  • You Matter to Me

    You matter to me.

    You were my dream;
    those were my screams.
    You were there again in tonight’s dreams—
    why, why again, tonight?

    Sick of your pain,
    the kiss of your fake chain.

    I remember all those moments
    when you, the only one, would wander.

    No… no… no… no… no—but
    I still love you.

    Who cares about the hurt
    when I care only for you—
    because you matter to me.

  • The Arrival of Your Absence

    Fine were my days and nights
    until the day you weren’t there.
    I couldn’t answer my own soul—
    how could I ever answer you?

    Fine were my days and nights
    till you found the courage to see me again.
    You are not my love; you only disguise her.

    The rain, the wind, the soothing smell of soil,
    the smoke slowly lifting—
    you came back, confusing me more than before.

    Hard to answer, hard to understand
    how you could have done that.

    Fine were my days and nights;
    when you were not there, I was my own.

  • How I Found You (and Lost You)

    I came, hoping to knock on your door,
    To breathe in the faint trace of your presence.
    Exhausted, lost in thought,
    I sat—sinking slowly into sorrow.

    I searched for something, anything…
    Yearning for fragments of my broken dreams.
    Was there truly nothing left to hold on to?
    That’s when I saw how foolish I’d been.

    I felt like I was lying to myself again—
    Pretending I no longer loved you.
    But your picture, once more, made me weak.
    And deep inside I wanted to scream,
    To cry out loud:
    I still love you. So much.

    But fate, as always, had other plans.
    I closed my eyes, whispering a prayer to see you.
    Yet your absence answered back—
    Telling me to walk away again.

    So I sat there, alone,
    Swallowing my tears and my silence,
    Staring at the fading outline of your face.
    Sad but true—
    that’s how I found you,
    and lost you.

  • Realm of I and We

    I wonder where we are headed next,
    From realm to realm, through hate and devilment.
    A single heartfelt tear, cried long ago,
    With untold, hidden pain—destined to remain so.

    My eyes, lost in deep contemplation,
    I find myself again in the realm of I and we.
    Pretending to be fearless, I donned my masks,
    but, ruled by my own soul, I broke into myself.

    Light is a realm that reveals another realm;
    I opened my eyes to an untold time,
    yet again I found myself—thoughtless, speechless—
    embarking on a journey to know the realm of I and we.

    An illusion that, inside a maze, seems so real;
    darkness is all I see, fear is all I feel.
    I evolved through countless other realms, quixotically,
    and felt it all within me, perpetually.

    Life went on—the same days, the same nights—
    yet I found myself living in the realm of I and we.