Free verse and quiet poems — in English and Hindi — on love, longing, loss, and the slow work of healing.
A glimpsed day, and its thoughts;
dreams, and the far reality of life;
someone to know, and to love,
someone to call, and to cry to,
and one to call your own.
Sheared eyes, and time,
seeking for the one that’s lost;
to the past, to the future —
something to remember, and to forget,
something to hold, and to let go,
and one to keep safe, inside…
What I thought was past — my desire, my long-dreamed day —
it was an awful waking, to a night of endless chase and pain…
I borrow my own time, and run a battle —
to fight with whom?
I shall surrender my soul;
I wear no shell for you to protect me,
but I tear open my wounds, to love myself.
How long I chase my dreams, only to find them void;
how long I travel alone, on the path I aspire to;
how far I go, alone, with one lost reach —
and by the evening, I wake to my own night,
through and through my own pain…
And by the morning, I want to wake holding one arm,
and smile with you, for the rest of my life.
I used to glance slyly, from beneath my drawing book,
at those deep, lost eyes that lured me, and my smile;
though they faded often, and were lost, seldom found —
how I would come early, to the rise, just to see that angel of “deep, dark eyes”…
In the arms of the night,
in the shadow of darkness,
in the wilderness of a new day,
in the weakness of a lost one;
in the grip of memories,
in the vision of dreams —
unstoppable, irresistible,
I sleep alone, with my love.
Holding her arms, and a loving heart,
a widespread time of love and era;
springs of joy, and caresses,
holding every second I breathe,
with you, and with mine.
I climb a new wall and shine,
underneath my old time;
I forget not the clinging of the past,
but I remember the beauty of yours.
I hold her lips, and press mine,
with the greatness of a lost dime;
some may come between us,
but I forget not a single smile.
I hold you deep inside me,
living you in every life I mean;
you come and go, but forever —
in my heart, and my life…
How far shall I hurt my love,
to push away this pain of the soul,
to cross the limit of the wait,
to smile again with you?
How deep shall I love you,
to hold you in my heart,
to live in your dreams again,
to anchor myself in you?
How far shall I hold my tears,
to cry in the joy of yours,
to spend myself on you again,
to tear my sadness apart with you?
How far shall I travel alone,
weaving old and new memories?
Stay in my heart,
stay in my life,
stay for the rest of time,
and never say goodbye.
Stay, my friend;
stay, my student;
stay, my teacher;
taunt me, but never leave me.
Stay with me,
stay with my memories,
stay with my love,
and never cry without me.
Stay in the shadow,
stay in the smile,
stay in the unspoken —
but never forget me.
Stay happy with me,
stay happier without me,
stay forever in memories,
and I wish you endless joy.
All over my hate and pain,
it pushes me back, again and again;
standing in the middle of an empty road,
I realize my emptiness, in the worldly crowd…
Way to way, with my endless hay,
I realize I waste one more day;
and with the lonely house,
I find my emptiness…
The silence of love and hate,
I find my state in a stapled chase;
stammering my life once again,
I feel my emptiness, again…
To the lonely road,
to the endless bay,
to the world of dreams,
I live my emptiness, again.
Sparkling and stunning, a deadly smile —
she looks behind my time;
slyly, and slowly, even time whispers:
her aura, and her smile, all around mine.